Desperation leads to anxiety

Well the thing is there are a lot of things about which we start getting desperate about…For example a student trying to hard to achieve good result ultimately ends with much lesser of what he could have achieved…..

I suggested two of my colleagues the same as they were getting too desperate and it worked for them when they stopped being desperate about it…..This was just an example..

Sometime you start running behind certain people and it gives them an impression that yes they are the one’s who are needed and someone is too desperate to get them…..You can say that at times you start giving unnecessary importance to people who don’t deserve it…..And the other thing is you should set the pace of your life by yourself and no other person or persons should dictate what you want to do or achieve…..

Very few people appreciate your efforts that you are making to adapt to the conditions and few of them will not even realise…..So let them the way they are and stop giving a hell of importance to those people because they start thinking that you can’t achieve much without them which should not be the case in any situation…..

Your love and affection for those people doesn’t mean much so it’s better you focus on right things and these right things varies according to each individual…I can tell you for me it’s about showing my love and affection at right place and to someone who always respects that and without asking I get a lot in return……

Keep smiling

It’s too early to say…..

Well at the start itself I would like to clear that here I am not talking about only one kind of a relationship….Relationships can be different but there are certain common things in them….

I have heard people who are in relationship saying that This is my life or I trust you with my life as well…..Or I trust you more than anyone else….

These points are quite common I guess but I have seen those relationships coming to an end very easily…Can someone explain a person whom you trust more than anyone else or you trust him/her with your life and so easily you got over that relationship and you move on……Then after seeing these kind of things I am good Atleast not heart broken….

Well It’s often that what you say is too early and I have seen people thinking too far ahead of themselves and my sincere advice to such people is enjoy the present with whomsoever it is and don’t think what lies ahead…..Even though you are quite sure oh yes you are going to marry the same person….You don’t know what will happen….

At times when we are in a conversation or I guess when we are dealing with emotions at times we say what we know we will not follow in near future…..

All in all I would say try to say only those things which are reality…I am not saying that these kind of Relationships don’t exist where you trust a person more than your life….But they are not that easy to find that’s what I feel Atleast…..You can have a different opinion….So it’s too early to say that yes this is the person…I mean it’s important to enjoy that relationship without thinking too ahead of yourself…Keep Smiling

Not Every Morning is a good Morning….

Well it is not necessary that all morning starts on a good note….But that doesn’t mean your whole day is going to be the reflection of what has happened before and I don’t think that you should make up your mind like that….

This morning which I am referring to started with a cramp on my leg but it’s just that Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it….

So, on previous occasion someone was there to help me and he refused this time and rightly so because he will not be there to help me Everytime….And guess what I managed it quite well…..So that’s the learning you need to have and that change you as a person….Well so I thought that what life is all about and you have to start managing a few things on your own…

The most beautiful person in this universe is that who is with you when you need someone the most and don’t let that person slip away from you…..

In my previous post as one of my friend told me Not the right place to get attach to people emotionally….That’s very true….And the other thing is Does it matter for anyone you are there or not???? I guess not and even for you at times it does not make a difference whether someone is there or not..Well for me I know it’s different because when you get emotionally attached to people it will take some time to come out of it….

But that’s how life is and people around you will keep changing and you can’t survive if you will feel a connection with some people more often than not……And literally when I was at home…Did I really miss someone???..Yes I missed few people .

But I think that needs to change because Anyhow you will leaving all of them very soon and it’s better to just make up your mind like that…..And never judge a day by the way it starts and even I don’t know what’s in store for me……KEEP SMILING

A golden advice…..

Well today I had a good conversation with one of my good friends…He literally understands the situation better than others and analyze things better than others…..And then he told me the most important thing…..

This is not the right place to get attach to people emotionally….

He was right because any how we are not going to stay together for a long time especially with people here because once we are into our work we will be in a different zone completely…..

But it’s not easy for me….I tend to get attached to people emotionally more often than not…. I am trying to improve on certain aspects but surely as he himself said it’s going to take sometime …..

And another thing I got to know is that people might have different opinions and interest it’s just that you need to change your behaviour rather than trying to change yourself completely……

And today finally we got to enjoy some of the session and I am literally excited about what is to come tomorrow…..That’s how it should be…..

One more thing I want to add in this post is why people are always looking for gossips and why can’t they mind their own business … I mean more than themselves they are interested in knowing what’s happening in other person life and why few people have to interrupt when two people are talking ……There is one more thing That I have realised is That what Atleast I should have learnt is what I am going to do and I am doing that best of my ability so anyhow it should not be a matter of concern….

And people opinion should not bother you and stay the way you are and certainly you can change the way you approach things but don’t change what you are…..Keep smiling….

Think what matters

This is exactly why I am struggling right now …..I am thinking about those things which should not matter as much as they are mattering to me for quite some time now….I see people around me happy, enjoying themselves but why always I am sitting alone having stupid thoughts …..Is it because of different interests or I just can’t mingle with everyone…..

But for whatever reasons I am just not able to get my mind out of those stupid things which I know should not matter…..But actually this is what I am concerned about at times that why I just can’t stop thinking for sometime and one more reason that adds to it is that We don’t have much to do during office hours for quite some days now and the fact that I don’t play mini militia and pubg may be…..

What also adds to my thinking is when people keep telling you things which you don’t know and they will be keep reminding you of those things only and no one talks about the things you know…..But things will go this way I guess untill I am here…..It’s not like I just don’t like people here and I just have not had a connection with them….I can’t say this about for first 3 months may be but for the past 1 month I literally have tried my best…..

It’s getting difficult for me with each passing minute and I literally have only myself to blame for things happening to me…I guess I have stopped loving my things…..I literally stopped doing stupid things which I used to do… I tried becoming too much of emotional,sensitive and caring for others and in the process I lost myself completely….

It’s hard to believe but I was not what I am right now….It almost seems like I have lost my voice….I was a person who loves to shout at times, do certain crazy things but unfortunately that all has changed……People do change by the way they see you behaving but for me I don’t know why It is just going in wrong direction……

I have developed another habit of talking to myself often…..It’s not like I did not use to do that before..But it’s just that I am doing it way more often than before….The reason might be not many people are there to talk to you and I am just feeling lonely sitting in a corner……I am just loosing myself……

But Life goes on and you need to continue with your mask of being happy around as long as you can because Even if you are not happy no one cares.

But it’s better to concentrate on things that will make a difference in your future…..And you have to find a way to survive anyhow whatever the circumstances are……

Touched by a friendly gesture

Actually It’s never a good feeling when you are sitting alone and you see people sitting in a group talking, enjoying themselves and you tend to think is it your fault you are sitting alone????… In this case I guess it was not my fault because I literally didn’t wanted to disturb people who have already taken their spaces….

But suddenly one of my friend from there joined me and it literally was a great feeling….it was a great gesture and I literally felt good about it…

I tend to think too much at times but I just can’t help it when I am at this place….But when you have someone to talk it just makes you feel lighter and better….

I have to say this again and again I am not a kind of a person bothered by things like sitting alone but I don’t know why I feel need of people around me to share things and what I am feeling at times…..

I just literally want to do things to people which bring smile on their face no matter how they behave and even I know that they don’t care whether I am around or not but it’s ok….

I too feels at times I over do things like asking people about their health and I don’t like people feeling sad around me….The reason I over do things might be I know how difficult it is when you can’t share with someone how you are feeling…..

I want to be there for everyone and I know there are few people around who are there for me as well and I feel lucky to have them around me….

I just want to connect with everyone but I guess I have become a completely different person from what I was since I have arrived in Bangalore……At times I feel I am trying to hard to be what I am not…..I always say Be yourself but I don’t know why I am not able to redeem my old self…I guess it will take some time……Thanks and Keep smiling….

A different Monday Morning….

Well today was different than the previous four days…..The room that was filled with silence on Thursday was filled with loud cheers and voices….But does it change for me???….To some extent yes I was Atleast able to talk to certain people…..

But again the same things happened and I lost my voice again….People enjoying themselves in the language they know and communicate and I lost my voice again….Might be because It’s me….It does not happen to everyone….But at times I start thinking Is it because of me only??? Or else what could be the reason for that …

But Atleast monday was way better than what I had for past 4 days sitting alone in a room not doing much…..I literally don’t know at times what actually I want from life….It’s just that I want to be happy but I am not in Bangalore…..There might be different reasons for that….Here I need to find people to whom I can talk…I think that’s the thing which makes me more vulnerable in this place…..

I wasn’t this kind of a person I have become. Even I don’t know why I became like this….I am trying to be my old self but I am not able to be my old self…..I am trying to find happiness in little things but right now I am not able to….

But I think the things happening to me I literally can’t blame people for it……I guess it’s ok…Atleast I feel good once I write this blog……I feel a lot lighter after writing this blog……That is the reason it’s very close to my heart…..Thanks And keep smiling ….

Tough road ahead….

Well after leaving my home again back to Bangalore it seems like I am starting all over again…Those three and a half months I spend before seems to have lost their meaning completely…..

All over again I am alone in this room. Well I have been told many a times that I think too much on things which are of no use….And that’s true to some extent but no one knows why it happens…..The reason is when you don’t have people around to talk and share what you feel you tend to start on things which you should not…..

I’m there for you…..

These words now I hate the most because People who often use these words don’t even know the meaning of that…..It seems like If I am not writing this blog I might end up having some serious issues….Atleast here I can express what I feel no matter how many people read it…..

Well Since I arrived in Bangalore I started eating thing which I hate the most for past 3 and half month i.e. Rice and still there are people around who can question my adaptability…..And I am literally struggling with food all the time I guess that’s same for everyone…..

But I literally don’t know what to do at times…..I just can’t help it…..And the good thing about all this happening is I have learnt to control my emotions a bit better as I have not cried since I have kept foot in Bangalore….which was not the case for past 3 and half months…..

I know it’s not going to be easy road ahead but since I have been in this journey for past 3 and half months I will keep fighting my way ahead…..

But literally Atleast there is someone in this universe with whom I am sharing what I feel Atleast….This blog is very close to my heart…..This blog has saved me from many stupid things and have ensured that I am in right frame of mind……

Being alone is worse???

When I came back to Bangalore again I cried once again. I was about to leave my home once again…..The only thing about Bangalore is people just seems to be different and then sometimes you literally don’t have a single person to talk to you…..

They are enjoying themselves together and you are sitting in one corner roaming around…..Literally at your home even if these things happen there it does not matter but I don’t know why this things started affecting me once I reach Bangalore…..I guess each person want people around with whom you can share something if not everything….

I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone

I am missing everything in my home….Once my phone got damaged and I needed to get it repair and one of my friend said to me….You only talk to your family…..so is your phone that important to you….I guess he was right…..I only talk to my family because I feel they only want to talk to me as much as I want to…..

There are few people who will call only if they need some favours from me and the other thing is they even don’t realise that what you are doing for them. But literally I don’t expect any favours from them anyways….

But sometime it’s just that you are frustrated with such people and you feel you are done…..you just don’t want to talk to them…..Then there are people who are with you but what if you still feel left out….I don’t even know why I am thinking too much about them…..

I was not like this but now I just can’t help it….

But the main thing I have learnt from this experience is You have to stay strong whatever the circumstances are and keep smiling because there are people in this universe at least if not in Bangalore who want to see you smiling…..

Best Feeling of the world

I guess best part about being child is when you keep your head in the lap of your mother and forget all the worries of life….I came back home after 4 months….Some one can have a laugh it’s just 4 months but for a child being so pampered so isolated from the outside world it’s a long time….

Nothing changes only you become better with experiences…..

I have a week to enjoy with my family and Diwali around….I am already feeling so good about it….But somewhere In my heart their lie a fear of being away ……What will happen after a week going back to the same place…..

Worse part about being in the other place is you have to find people to talk and it’s literally difficult as most of them are busy in their own world…Even if you want they don’t accept you….You love them and expect the same from them no you can’t…

Expectations from other people will always make you weak and unhappy…..

That’s the lesson learnt I have with me…..At times it’s difficult for you to understand that even if you love someone it’s not necessary they reciprocate in the same way….

But still I am a kind of person who wants to be there for everyone irrespective of the fact how they behave with you without expectations from them…Keep loving them ….one day they have to realise….

And Even if they don’t there is one supreme power in this universe who is watching you doing good things to people….Some one said to me….God listens to you…. And they think this is because I pray a lot.. I love even those who doesn’t love me…and I don’t think God listens to me more than others……

But there is one place in this world where you can relax for sometime and will feel heaven….your mother’s lap….Try once who have that opportunity….There are many who even don’t have that opportunity…..

Love your parents and don’t forget to love all and Be Human is the word I will say……keep smiling

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